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Losing your heart in Berlin or Paris

februari 12, 2025februari 12, 2025admin

So new blog January is such a dull month finish what’s left of last year but new ideas taking over your mind. So with piles of administration of last year (yes I know I should keep it up better) and a mind full of ideas I write this blog.

And just a note my blogs are my personal perspective on my life and no theatre or concert reviews. But I love to use these shows as a nice threat in my writing.

Now I ended up in a last minute crazy idea to go to Rob Kemps show Hemel op Aarde (Snollebollekes guy you know from Left to right). But instead of an audience of party people but the average age of my opera choir would be a perfect fit and a few couples of my age. So yes no party but a show about the most famous cemetery of Paris. I should have went for a full goth look that would fit the mood (not the audience nor artist) but a sneaky Veljanov’s shirt might already do the trick or test Rob on his knowledge about Brel.

What Rob has with Paris I have with Berlin.
I deeply respect Rob and I would love to sit with him one day and talk about music and art. But I don’t know much about Paris. I found my love for the city of Berlin. Every time I see an ICE a nice silver bullet between all those yellow with blue trains my heart makes a jump. I want to board it and hope it will take me to Berlin. Visit places the roots of the art I love the small streets of Kreuzberg the rare non tourist one that reminds me of a time of rebellious art. A sense of ever longing freedom even the wall is gone. Even the city has changed I will always love it. Where Rob told the story of him going to the Bar of the roots of the chassions. I’m proud I can say I have been to the K17 the iconic venue for underground and industrial music.
But like Rob told about his meetings an places where his idols have been that he has been there to. I can see I have been on the same stage as he just here in my town Oss. We both have been on the main stage of the Lievekamp no one can take that away from me.

Crowds, one thing I have in common with Rob is that I don’t like crowds. For me that keeps the dream of being on stage to see and feel the crowd but not beeing a number in the mass. Or go with my camera being there in my own bubble with my own personal spaces. Like yesterday I was on the side of row one (number 3 counted from stage) and the couple beside me didn’t show up. And I loved my personal space from left to right no one and even in front of me there was the isle. So I could enjoy the show from inside my own bubble.

But back to my t-shirt. After the show I start talking with a man he made a comment on my t-shirt. He asked me if It was a Jim Morrison shirt but then sees Veljanov on it. So there it it we talked about music he about his love for music from Paris and me about the beauty of the music from Berlin how love for music unites.

And a friend told me it’s oke to groupie now and then. And it’s true we should allow it ourselves and enjoy it. Just for the magic of the moment. Because one day all our inspirations our personal idols will and op in a place like Père Lachaise. So sometimes really just sometimes I will let myself groupie. But also I see the artist sapreated from the person itself.

But one thing if Rob wil go before me and even he will be buried in “just” Best. I will take my grandchild to your grave and make my first true Left to Right. And if I can not do it my self then I hope my grandchild will read this and do it for me. Thats I wish I would love to grant for him.

With love,
Hélène

Now I can say I’m a opera singer!

november 22, 2024november 23, 2024admin

Without even crossing the border back home (however borders only exist in our minds) and with the magic of the Veljanov’s concert still in my head. It’s head in the books and EarPods in the ears and last minute studying of The Armed Man of Jenkins while the silver train brings me home. However home is where the heart is so maybe I should have stayed in Berlin. But back to reality it’s a week of working, rest, working, photo editing, working, rehearsals, working, photo editing, working, rehearsals, preform, preform.

The Armed Man

When I got the news early this year that we would sing The Armed Man it was exited however one side it’s a little bit to filmish bombastic piece the more and more I dig in to it the more I loved it. We did it with the vision of 80 years of liberty of the south of the Netherlands. When I grew up sometimes my grandfather told me stories of the WOII how he had to work in Germany. He was one of those Dutch gentleman who did not hate Germans but he only hated Nazis. My dad always served the Dutch military and has been to Afghanistan for two times. So I grew up always aware that he’s a lot away and worked a lot Germany. Mabe that where my rebellion to learning German as a child came from or it’s just it’s because it to similar to Dutch. I personally love the German culture specially around Christmas, so as Dutch as I am yes I do that in Germany. So here I’m back where I stared this blog: Borders only exist in our minds. Just like enemies grow out of fear of what we do not know. Sometimes we need to face our past first to start something new.

Not only singing The Armed Man but the whole last two weeks where a personal journey of reflection and grow. As a photographer a singer and as a person.

Now I can call myself a opera singer
Well I’m just a hobby singer in a local opera choir but it’s fun and helps. It also helps me with my tinnitus and hyperacusis. The last weeks I learned I have a neurologic tinnitus /hyperacusis so if I’m relax and my tinnitus/hyperacusis relax to. But they say after two years you can say I’m a opera singer. And the last two years my life started to flip back 180degrees back to my true love, music. Last year we celebrated 90 years of Osse Opera it was a nice mash up of opera an theatre and after that we went of a spring concert. So I learned a lot and specially for this last opera I learned several techniques that really makes my jaw stronger. I don’t have big plans I still love to be at the local opera and learn from Hans Lamers and the choir member and experiment at home. So singing is my therapy and love.

And now off to work 21 December we have a concert in a church in Reek. With some Jenkis, Orff, Verdi and Mozart. So a nice mesh up again and a lot to learn in a few weeks.

So after two weeks it’s take some rest, recharge and restart it all again and see what the future will bring.

The Armed Man – A mass for Piece
Written by: Karl Jenkins
Executive conductor: Sef Pijpers Jr.
Osse opera conductor: Hans Lamers
Bosche Opera conductor: Wim Reijnders
Solo: Lucie van Ree & Zaid Tayem
Location: Jheronimus Bosch Art Centre in ’s-Hertogenbosch
Date: 16 & 17 November 2024 (sold out)

Harmonie Wilhelmina den Dungen,
Vereniging Bosche Opera
Osse Opera Vereniging
And guest choir singers and artist

Last rehearsal pictures by Gerold Smits

Concert saterday by Gerold Smits

Pictures I made

From alto prinses to goth queen

augustus 13, 2024admin

So still being in my nostalgic mood and overthinking my life I write this blog. On Gothcommunity.eu fb group some started a post of their goth look thru the years. In 2002 I went for the first time to a gothic shop it was in Den Bosch a small store filled with witchy and fantasy stuff with the smell of incense filled the room. The lady in the store wore a big dress with a corset like a dark princess. Mesmerized by the magic in the store I felt in love with this dark but feminine style. But there was I standing a brave insecure 14 year old girl who dressed up more as a tomboy.

Later that year I went to my first fantasy festival an bought my first “gothic” shirt and proudly wore it he next day to school. So there it was from now I was the gothic of the glass. Every penny is start to spent in dark princess like cloths and mixed and matched them. But still deep inside I was still that insecure girl that just looked like a princess of darkness exploring the world.

I started to study multimedia and set up a gothic e-zine with a friend. Going to concerts, festivals and even gothic gala’s. Exploring styles and watch trends. So working with models and having amazing creative artist in frond of my camera I always felt underdressed. I never considered myself create with make up and hair, and yes I learned some tricks true time. But still I felt like a reporter that just went for her goals and for the rest a shy wallflower like a Lady Whistledown.

2024 Helene with Sabine Lutzenberger (Helium Vola / Per-Sonat)

But time has passed got married in steampunk style and just like the goth scene in the Netherlands I disappeared to. Went up in the mass and started a family. But still there was something missing in my life. Did I let to much go in the darkest day’s In my life? Yes there was a time where the beauty of life and the most darkest part where a tin line.
So corona that time when we were almost forced to confront ourselves in where we stand in life. I started to redefine my passions and with all the scrolling on the socials I found old contacts. On the rare moments in 2021 we could travel again we could meet old friends and a small spark lighted my gothic heart. In 2022 I lost my store well I got a job opportunity that changed my life. I could be creative and free again and room for travel and self-development came in my life. More and more I got drawn to the old days where I felt happy and free.

So yes I’m gothic on my own way. Not one with big hair and big eyeliner. But my own elegant me! And now I can even say I’m an elderly goth and don’t care if I’m not the next topmodel. But I love to inspire new generations on my own way to even make the shy wallflower feel seen.

And still I don’t know where my path takes me but even the coolest goth has the brightest spark inside there heart. And mine shines brighter than ever!

So yes I say I’m a gothic queen!!