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Welcome to my hearing … well it’s better to say my head. Yes I have tinnitus! And even more annoying hyperacusis. No I did not get it from festivals and party’s but thanks to a bike accident when I was 11 years old.

So the bike incident I got was just like a stupid accident with my race bike. Well I wasn’t racing but it was during a slow drive to the start of a triathlon competition (yes I did triathlon). My bag got in the wheel and smacked me on the face, lucky was wearing a helmet that one broke, just like my front teeth.

When I was almost 21 in 2008 I could finally get two teeth implants. But with that came an bone transplantation from the back of my jaw. This is not a big surgery but a nasty one because the unlock your jaw. Which now in 2024 I still have problems of and in 2008 jaw therapy wasn’t very know. But as reward my dad took me for a 26hours trip to Berlin to do my report of Veljanov’s Porta Macedonia cd presentation. Which I was invited to do a report for Noize Magazine, I still don’t know how I managed to makes the pictures with all the pain killers a few days after the surgery.

In 2022 I stopped my yarn store that I had for 5 years. With corona period survived as a company. And during corona period when we where all living online I started to get in touch and long back to the period of Noize Magazine. But a new job got a my path so I could stop the store and get free time. What me time with no pressure? Something that was not in my Dictionary. And an old friend who challenged me with music.
 The whole positive change gave a stress reaction on my hearing. In 2023 I did what I never dare but always wanted to do and joined the local opera. I takes the average ages of the choirs down with 30 years but I didn’t care I wanted to learn to sing opera. I always loved symphonic metal and want to learn to read sheet music. Somehow I past the test and was allowed to stay even with the comment that I have a delay to pick up tunes. After trying a few thing to reduces stress I finally get the hearing test I needed. The result: Tinnitus and hyperacusis with a to big hearing range for my age.

 Tinnitus

It’s annoying and exhausting form time to time. Looking back I know I have it thanks to the bike incident. It’s not always there and most of the sounds block it. I mostly hear it before I go to sleep or when I’m extreme stressed or tired. It’s mostly a background noise and on a bad day something similar like the noise of the video. The annoying thing when you get the label tinnitus it’s know to give a big reaction and you will focus on it. So for almost a year I slowly find my way to manage and understand it.  It’s just my personal jam.

Hyperacusis

This is the nasty one. Sounds are to loud for me and it causes a “processing” delay. With my big hearing range I still hear things like to beepers to scare cat’s of the yard.  

Directed sounds work fine to me. That’s why I’m able to go to a concert (yes with in ears but you need them anyway) and sing in the opera. But undirected sounds like a bar are exhausting for me because I lose focus.  So I love to go to small concerts but I do not stay long for the after party. At home I try to avoid the morning chaos and hope that my husband and the kids set up the table (but still this goes with a lot of chaos) because it can set the hearing stress level for me for the rest of the day.

Also the jaw can have a major effect on how loud you hear sounds. If it’s locked you can hear sounds louder. I went to  therapy for it and to keep it in shape and make it stronger I need sing.

At my work I work with people with people with special needs so most of the workspace is adjusted to them. And all right expect the hallway on the new location but it’s my secret personal signing boot for cool acoustics. But still it’s a job that require a lot of focus and concentration so I have to watch out in the evening and take enough rest. Because more tired I’m the louder the sounds feel. And it could almost look like I’m misophonic.

The delay

The delay is the most frustrating for me. I lose focus so with a meeting it takes more time to process. It can look like I forget a lot of things and walk back with a this or that questions. Or I have to check the assignment ten times or cut it in small staps so I won’t forget a things.

With music the delay is really a annoying thing but I learned once I know the piece it will be fine and slowly I learn to understand sheet music so I recognise more an more what to do and when. But one of the most important things is to trust on our director Hans Lamers.

Little helpers

So at the moment I use some little helpers. And I’m not sponsored but I will call the names of the brands I use  but you just have to find what helps for you. I love my Loop earplugs and have two sets (now you can also choose for a switch version). I have one set for concerts to block the noise. The other set is for a restaurant of meeting or block some of the sounds so I can focus more. Yes they help me but the downside for me I can not use it to calm down because then I will focus on my tinnitus jam.

So when I’m on the streets or need to relax my ears at home I use mu Sennheiser IEpro100 in ears monitors. Yes there originally designed for stage monitoring and I love them. I always loved the Sennheiser sounds and uses It from I was like 14 years old if it are headphones of a mic yes I’m a Sennheiser just like I’m an Apple girl (but no earpods for me).  The nice thing of in ear monitors there are designed to lock in you ears and block the “speaking” range of sounds. So it helps me to get in my own bubble and block most sounds. So for me this is the best help.

Mabe I will get more or a different helper because I’m waiting list for a special treatment to learn to deal with my tinnitus and hyperacusis.

Do I still bike? I’m Dutch so I bike everywhere, I don’t even have a driver’s license.

And with the singing? It became my therapy I train my jaw with it and I calm my brain (except when the soprano’s are on the loose). And I just decided to do what makes me happy. So we will see where my path will take me.

Do what makes you happy

-X-
Helene